Transforming Businesses into Dragons

You had to use your own money to buy lunch for a customer who dropped by. You should…

• Submit the receipt, justification for the extra guacamole, and personal credit score
• Ask your colleague to create a diversion while you raid the petty cash drawer
• Fill out an online form that gets the money in your account the next day
• Just forget about it; you’ll never get the money back

You have a workplace complaint to register. You should…

• Grab a coffee while the HR manager opens the handbook to page one
• Enact a drama to show the dangers of inappropriate clothing
• Draw up articles of war
• Complete a confidential form online that is reviewed by HR and leadership

An irate customer complains about the service they received. You should...

• Say “uh-huh”, pretend you are typing, and go back to playing poker online
• Try to set the office record for most swear words recorded on a call
• Send the address of a dark alley where you can “settle this like men”
• Apologize, initiate a refund workflow, and report the incident

You had a great idea for a company blog post while on a client visit. You should…

• Submit the fully written article and images and follow up on it weekly for 2 years
• Walk over to marketing and try to figure out where everyone went
• Initiate a request on your phone as you walk out of the building
• Start your own damn blog if it’s so easy

Your email account seems to have stopped receiving emails. You should…

• Corner the market on pens in case there is a system-wide shutdown
• Create a support ticket online
• Breathe calmly as you call the IT team and listen to them laugh at you
• Watch five YouTube videos all entitled “How to Fix Your Email”

You want to do a quick training for new hires on some new software. You should…

• Ask the HR team to add the training to the current onboarding workflow
• Advertise a free pizza party–only newbies fall for that stuff
• Get used to the feel of delivering the training to an empty room
• Unknowingly agree to also train on the Employee Handbook, Health Insurance, Workplace Safety, and Sexual Harassment